Bathing in Sand: The Journey to Prove I am not Artificial Intelligence

One of the things I struggle with most as a teacher right now is spotting AI. It seems to be everywhere and students are either so good at using it I don't know what their actual writing voice sounds like or so terrible at using it that I have to call them out on it (either through a call home or a discussion with admin). It's a huge pain in the neck. I've started to notice similar patterns in news articles I read and recent reports seem to indicate that it's being used in scientific papers as well.

With that in mind, I thought we might try an exercise. How do we identify writing that is from AI? I've used tools like ChatGPTZero to help me identify student work, but it might be more important to try and recognize patterns without the external aid because who takes the time to run a published article through AI. Last night I began a journey in using AI to help me market some of my creative endeavors. I gave the AI about twenty sentences describing what I'm working on with a few of them being about my process. The text in red below is what it gave me.

Bathing in Sand: A Journey through Ink, Nostalgia, and AI

I’m working on a new song / poem thing called Bathing in Sand. It’s coming out soon (I actually went ahead and released it even though it's not on Spotify. Here's a link to the lyric video.) part of a collection I’ve been brewing for a while. These pieces come from one notebook I kept between 2012 and 2016. Revisiting it has been a trip - sometimes nostalgic, sometimes disconcerting. The name of the full collection of poems will be Human Verification Required. I hope to release these as a book sometime next year.

"Brewing for a while." "it has been a trip." These are phrases that are meant to add some kind of casual voice but don't feel real or are just a bit too cliche. My deeper fear: If the AI has read all my other blog posts, are these cliches representative of my other work? Like, the call is coming from inside the house.

The process I use to create these poems is a bit unusual. First, I dig into the handwritten pages, soaking in the original mindset. Then, I rewrite the poem from that place, trying to stay true to my initial mindset. Note the repetition. After that, I write a rebuttal poem from my current perspective. It’s like a conversation between past and present me. With AI flooding the creative space, I feel this is my way to verify my own humanity in what I write. I show my thinking through images of the original notebook, the refined poem, and the rebuttal poem. Let’s see if it works.

Revisiting the Notebook: The First Step

Going back to those handwritten pages is like opening a door to a different version of myself. The handwriting is messy, sometimes barely legible due to writing in the pre-dawn light of someone else's couch, but it’s raw and honest. I don’t just copy the words; I try to feel what I felt back then. That’s the tricky part. It’s easy to romanticize the past or judge it harshly, but I try to stay neutral. It's hard not to be grossed out by this. Calling one's own work raw and honest? Sounds douchey. It had an AI image of a notebook. Here's an actual image from my notebook and the poem that inspired Bathing in Sand.

And I'm not neutral at all. So much to fix. Did I follow the sand simile with taste on purpose? As if reliving the past is like eating sand? The sexual under(or over)tones undermine my credibility. Why temptresses? Temptresses sounds like a nice way of saying faceless strippers. Was I trying to make myself look cool by saying temptresses in the plural form? Like I'm still trying to impress the toxically masculine friends of my youth who think (or thought) poetry is weak unless it's in some exploitative rap song. The real temptation is the nostalgia of intimacy.

As I reread I feel my loneliness and longing and feel embarrassed for exposing my own sexual desire as an attempt to gain approval from others by sharing intimate details. I have to be this harsh critic to make the writing stronger. I wrote this as a lonely heart. I didn't have anyone to share my life. That's a big part of why I wrote it. I remembered how good I felt when I could share intimacy. The memory feels overwhelming. What happens when your memory renders you immobile or inert to the present environment?

How do I get the reader to this point without beating them over the head with it? How do I show instead of tell. How do I foster a sense of self-discovery? Shift the perspective away from me. No more first person. If I do my job, they'll feel both stung and buried.

This step is crucial because it grounds the poem in its original emotional context. It’s like restoring an old painting - you want to keep the original colors but make it shine again.

Writing the Rebuttal: A Method of Human Verification

After rewriting the original poem, I write a rebuttal from my current perspective that offers some evidence that AI, hopefully, couldn't create. The human verification for Bathing in Sand includes a photo of me from 2004 that inspired the line, "Draws words on my body." I include a short story about that moment. I debate about sharing that part here, because I want you to be interested in the book. If I share it on this blog, I feel like I'd be giving away too much. Maybe I'm overvaluing. Like, people give away all kinds of details about themselves all the time on social media. But unless I hear otherwise, you'll have to read this when you get the book. Here's what AI "thought" I should say about the rebuttal: This is where things get interesting. The rebuttal isn’t just a correction or a better version. It’s a response, sometimes agreeing, sometimes challenging the past me.

For instance, if the original poem expressed frustration or confusion, the rebuttal might offer clarity or acceptance. Or it might question the assumptions I made back then. This back-and-forth creates a layered narrative that reflects growth and change.

This method also helps me stay authentic in an age where AI can generate polished text instantly. By showing my evolving thought process, I’m proving that these poems are deeply human. They’re not just words; they’re conversations with myself.

The Role of AI in My Creative Process

I can’t ignore the elephant in the room - AI. It’s everywhere now, and it’s changing how we create and consume art. When anyone can create it, my only hope is that a reader can discern meaning from fluff. Sometimes I wonder if my work will be seen as less valuable because it’s not AI-generated or enhanced. But then I remind myself that my strength lies in my unique perspective and the messy, imperfect process I follow. Is it even a strength, or is that something that humans tell themselves?

The phrase “I have to verify my own humanity with everything that I write” resonates deeply here. By sharing the original notebook images, the rewrites, and the rebuttals, I’m making my creative process transparent. It’s a way to say, “This is me, thinking, feeling, evolving.” I think it put these in quotes because they were in the prompt I gave it. I wish I had kept the prompt.

I’m not against AI - it’s a tool like any other. But for me, the human element is non-negotiable. It’s what makes art meaningful. I wonder if AI can recognize when it's being ironic.

Enhancing Bathing in Sand with Music

One of the things I've learned in my creative ventures is that just making the words is not enough. They have to be packaged for consumption. So that's what I'm trying to do by adding my own music. I intend to release these poem / songs as singles. The song matches the shifts and movements of the poem. In the case of Bathing in Sand, there's an introduction with crystalizing chimes. The midsection has a nostalgic, doo-wop organ. The ending section melts away with dissonant warbles. I'm not using AI to make any of these songs - just LogicPro. Most other songs I've written, the music comes first and the lyrics follow. Bathing in Sand is a departure from this process which I've found to be really fun and exciting.

As I release each poem from Human Verification Required as individual singles, each piece will come with its original handwritten snippet, the refined poem, the rebuttal, and music video or lyric video. This format invites readers and listeners to engage with the work on multiple levels.

I hope this approach encourages others to look at their own creative processes differently. Maybe it will inspire some to revisit old notebooks or unfinished projects. There’s something powerful about seeing how your thoughts evolve over time.

For those who love music and poetry, this collection offers a blend of both - a hybrid that reflects how I experience art. It’s not polished perfection but honest exploration.

Why This Matters Now

In a world where content is churned out at lightning speed, slowing down to reflect feels radical. Yep. I'm a total radical. My process is slow and deliberate. True. It’s about being with the work, not just producing it. Not sure what this means. This is why I’m excited to share Bathing in Sand with you. I really am excited to share my work. I will continue to fight so as not to lose myself in the AI marketing whirlwind that I don't see stopping anytime too soon and may grant me access to a larger audience.

Does it help to show the AI sections versus the parts where I'm actually thinking? It's a little exhausting for me. It took me a few days to write and reflect because I also have dad responsibilities and teacher responsibilities. Maybe it would've been better of even faster if I had just written it all myself? Might not have written as much though.

I think this last part is important for SEO stuff.

Eric Mattys aims to connect with a broad audience by sharing his unique blend of music, writing, and educational insights, fostering a community around his creative process and thought-provoking perspectives on life and society. This project is a step toward that goal.

If you want to follow along or learn more about my work, check out my website.

I’m curious to see how this experiment will be received. Will people connect with the layered storytelling? Will it spark conversations about creativity in the AI era? Only time will tell. What do you think?

Thanks for reading. Stay tuned for more releases soon. Ditto.

If you’re interested in the creative process behind music and poetry, or just want to see how one artist navigates the challenges of modern creativity, this collection might be just what you need.